Here's to the End of a DRAMATIC Semester!

First thing is first. The second week of the semester I contracted mono. So, after missing one and a half weeks due to the recuperation time I needed, I headed back to classes. Not even two weeks later I contracted Swine Flu, I think due to my weakened immune system from the mono battle. I missed a couple of classes, but I did drag myself to a couple of tests that I couldn't miss (sorry to anyone I may have coughed on). Next, my car was diagnosed with very "financially challenging" problems that I could not get fixed fast enough, thus my car took a digger causing me to miss yet another day of classes (by the way, it's still not road worthy). On thanksgiving, after work (no family dinner due to work), I found out my Grandpa had passed away, we attended his funeral that next Saturday, no classes were missed but still a very upsetting time. And lastly, I got fired from my Job, because one of my pregnant managers was having an "emotional" time, and couldn't deal with a simple situation properly (An individual higher up than she on the authoritative totem pole later told me that I probably shouldn't have been fired, but she had to stand behind her manager's decision).

so, to you, ultimately lame and challenging semester I say Au revoir.
good bye and good riddance. (And if I get a D in any of my classes, there are no words to explain the new level of livid I will have created.)

Hope all of your semester's treated you well.
Good luck to you all in the future!

Oxymoronic Situation.

I have a manager at my job who is pregnant. She is emotional to being with, and now that she has a bun in the oven she is practically unbearable. I avoid these types of people, they bring me down, and i don't like to be down. Enough said. So, Friday night at work I asked a couple of questions about the seating arrangements in the dining room. After being ignored, twice, I decided to shut my mouth and go on about my business. Once this manager realized that I was upset and not saying anything about it she came up to ask me a few questions herself, right in the middle of the bar. After giving her three short one word aswers to her questions (very obviously not wanting to talk) she proceeded to ask me questions about the actions taken, or lack thereof (in regards to my original questions at the beginning of the night). I then began to tell her that since I had been ignored and there had been no actions taken, that the situation was largely due to incompetence. I was fired that Friday night and was to babysit my boss's kids the next morning. ( the owner of the restaurant) After arriving at their house at seven a.m. I proceeded to tell my boss's wife the entire story. After he left for work he came home to ask me if I had anything to tell him, and so I told him the entire story, although because I am about 99% intimidated by this man, I did a completely horrible job defending myself. Every time I would defend something I did or said, I would support the manager and her decision completely (dumb). Anyway, after telling me how disappointed he was at the situation (mind you, at this time his children were jumping all over me screaming "Quinnie, watch this." "Quinnie look at me!") he told me that he wouldn't have anyone else watch his girls, how he loved having me there and how good I am with children. So, I guess the moral of the story is, Quinn, you are perfect in dealing with small children, teaching and spending time with, but you are obviously insubordinate at work????? really ?!?! Se la vie.

Stress

I recently learned the effects of stress on the human body. I also recently took a test to determine how vulnerable to stress I am. The results were as expected, I am, to say the least vulnerable, to stress. The long and short of it is, stress is one of the worst things you can do to your body. Stress can: Make you fat, make your hormones go ballistic, the effects of the hormone malfunctions due to a prolonged ample amount of stress can cause autoimmune deficiencies, and cancer, of course cancer. There are a few simple techniques that can decrease a person's stress: exercise, deep breathing and meditating. Anything that relaxes you can be stress relieving, in this day and age I think it is important for us to take time out of our day, everyday, to practice some relaxation techniques, even if it just deep breathing. For me personally, I read bible verses, it helps me to remember that everything happening here and now is not all that there is. When I read these words of encouragement I remember that I am not alone, and I am taken care of no matter what happens to material possessions, and I will always be taken care of and loved. In the end people need love and completeness, and that is what I feel from God when I reach out. I get lost in this crazy world, I forget what makes me whole, I will never forget again. AMEN!

SLOW DOWN AND GET STUCK IN THE GROWND.

I spend all week at school studying until my ears are bleeding, and every minute not dedicated to studying working until my feet want to fall off. I have nothing in my near future but these things, and I can't take a break or I will lose them both. And they are what we as American's thrive on.

I can't wait for my life to be stable. I can't wait for the day when I don't have to drive 180 miles or more per week, to make money that isn't enough to support myself. I can't wait for the day when I don't have to stress 32 weeks per year (school) so that I can graduate in MAYBE five or six years and have a whole new type of stress a.k.a STUDENT LOANS. When I think about the future, I can't see myself sitting in the same building for years on end, I see myself being proactive and performing duties based on a human interest level. Which means, that when and if my life "settles" I will not be satisfied, which also means that if this restless anxiety I feel along with the simultaneous exhaustion subsides, I will feel as though I am not exerting my full potential into the world. That being said, I am very optimistic and excited about my major and my plans for the future.

Papa

My mom's father died when she was twenty-one, I never knew him. When he died, an acquaintance named Robert Simmons took it upon himself to see that she got through college, married the right man, and was there for her four children being born, from the moment of our births he was known as Papa. He called us (the four children) his grand babies, he showed us love and kindness, and tried his very best to show us the importance of elegance and equality. Papa went on to spend every Christmas, Thanksgiving and sometimes New Year's day with us, up until the last years, our family went in different directions, and his biological family was requesting his presence at their various domains.
Papa was a very rich man during his life, both in finances and emotion, he was never short on dishing out love. Every penny that Papa earned, from his early years as a professor at the UW Madison teaching languages and literature, to the last 30 or 40 years (I'm not quite sure the exact #) running his own business, "1040 Tax" out of his office/home on Monroe street in Madison, he never left an extra cent for himself. Papa donated any extra money he had to various organizations that he believed were acting in the best interest of the people/ideals that he agreed with. He Sorted and filed taxes for his clients on a typewriter (to the current time period), no matter their means. Papa Often would send articles regarding topics of his interest to his loved ones, articles of foreign affairs and current government politics. Most of the recipients of these articles were more than likely not going to read them, it was all the same to Papa though, as long as he himself made the effort.
Papa had four biological children that my siblings and I met for the first time at his memorial service the Saturday after Thanksgiving, they are all older than my Brother, sisters and I, with children of their own. My mother and father were unable to make it. (they loved him dearly) But I was able to see Papa, outside of Papa, outside of how we knew him, and I got a chance to see what his children learned and attributed to his influence in their lives, I also got to see how his grandchildren remembered him. To tell the truth, it was not as I expected.
I remember Papa full of love and boat loads of useless information and when the time called for it discordant guidance. All of those things were equally recollected by every party present, but some things were just very different. I remember him as a giving poor man, of course I know now that he was rich and simply discarded any extra money to charities that would benefit more than he, Papa himself benefited by giving, living hand to mouth, selflessly, was his exemplary choice. The main difference I saw and felt on Saturday at the memorial service was the lack of knowledge I had acquired about Papa's giving nature, I always just accepted, and didn't question it. To me, that was was just the way he was, he was our Papa of course he should act this way, but the more I think about it, the more I know why I didn't see it. Papa directed his attention and divided it exactly as he should have, what we were lacking in our home was money and structure. Every time Papa came in, he reinforced those values in a caring way as to not upset us children. Now that I understand the voids he filled in my family, I appreciate him even more, and I pray to have a giving heart and attitude the rest of my life.

I love you Papa and I miss you already.

Control Freak.

I am a control freak who is not in control. This could very well be a recipe for disaster. I have come to realize that by running, and hiding, and living in denial, I have lost control which is the one thing in my life I had managed to secure. Now that I've realized this, I will no longer watch my life pass. I will decide my future and then make it happen. All I have is what is here inside of me, right now today, use it or lose it. There is no gray area.

Growing up.

I run from confrontation. It is hard for me to face hard situations, and I am just realizing this. I am a very outgoing person, very open and conversational, but when it comes to certain parts of my life, I don't tell anyone. I think that this is unhealthy only because I have people in my life who think they know everything about me. I pick and choose of the people who are close to me, who "gets to" know what. I really have to be careful when I get close to people, I feel like I need to be a certain type of person, I feel like I need to show people the person I want to be, not the person I actually am. I guess it is hard to accept that I am not the person I want to be. I need to accept who I am and if I don't like it, change it. But everything is easier said than done.

People are crazy

I have come to realize that people, all people, every person is crazy. All of the people of the world have their own abnormal tenancies that only come out at certain points. WATCH FOR THEM. If you know a person well enough, their actions become habit and perhaps the "crazy" is harder to see. Trust me it s there, and it is hilarious!

Example of random thought

A person is most healthy when their bodies are stimulated right? weather it be a muscles, or lungs, or the foods they eat, anything really, but stimulation is key to survival, and sanity. So I came across a thought, what about tanning? the sun on a person's skin, is that not stimulating? I guess this is a question that will probably only get answered in death, but it is truly baffling. Just think about it, it doesn't make any sense that it should be bad, for one thing, let alone bad enough to cause cancer! Ok so first off, being in the sun makes freckles come out, which are cute on anyone! It makes skin bronze and glowing, clears up acne and builds confidence! All of these positive effects greatly outnumber the negative ones, yet it's result is skin cancer? really?

Music

I love to sing
I love to dance
I love to hear sounds
they make me happy.
I can sit and listen, Preferabley alone,
There isn't a sound made by an istrument or a voice calling out in joy or sorrow that I wouldn't want to hear.
I love languages,
I want to learn them all.
Sounds of all kinds make me happy
Thank God for ears!!!

I am a Spaghetti Noodle

I've come to a realization.
I am a wet spaghetti noodle, not dry and hard and in a straight line, no, wet, and full of compromise and flexible in any way for any person near me.
I can bend and twist in any way you need me to, I will make myself uncomfortable to make your life easier.
You can spiral me around to fit your needs and I will not break, feel free to use me as you see fit.
And at the end of the day when I've dryed, I will be kinked and twisted, and brittle, you will not recognize me, you will have used me up and tossed me aside.
I will not be attractive or happy, I will be broken on the inside and outside.
The worst thing is, It is a self inflicted pain because I choose to be a spaghetti noodle,
I am addicted to it.
and I hate it.

Two Things...........

Sometimes selfishness is what will save you from a lifetime of regret and self loathing. My father (the only person in the world who will love me unconditionally and argue my perfection to the grave.) once told me that there are two things in life I am allowed to be selfish about. One, is what I want to do with my life, (meaning career) and two, who I want to be with. These two things, not money, not possessions, will make me happy. The ideal career path chosen by an individual, will most likely reflect a lot of their personal interests and gifts. If this path is not taken the person, whomever in the world will be unsatisfied with their occupation for as long as they live, it is not debatable. And I think it goes without saying, but I will say anyway, the unhappiness a person feels when they "settle" for someone. Ideal happiness comes from a reflection of yourself in another, I personally, disagree that opposites attract. The person that is quintessential for the opposites happiness will be the one who has the same interests, e.i. religion, activities, and is pushing themselves towards the same type of future and ending, together. To have occupational and marriageable happiness, you must be selfish, because these are the things in your life that will not come and go, like money, these things drive a person, day in and day out, so be selfish, and be happy!

If you Cant Change the Situation, Change your Attitude! (Thanks Mom!)

The best piece of advice ever give to me : If you can't change the situation, then, change your attitude. This of course was given to me by none other than my mother! Lately, these have been the words I live by, in my current situation, annoyances are frequent, and persistent. It seems to not be enough to just smile and pretend that you are fine with whatever is happening. The situation, whatever it may be, is still getting under your skin, still gnawing at you, but if perhaps you decide to change your mood about the situation instead of just covering up a foul disposition, the entire environment seems to lighten, internally and externally. I'm sure that everyone is aware of the types of situations I am talking about, the one where you have to go and have dinner with people you do not find the least bit appealing or an uncomfortable introduction of any sort. Practice changing your attitude from bad to good, and you will see the world of difference it makes!

Trouble up ahead?

Sensibility, and reason would tell me to fear the world I live in, but I don’t. Logic and sometimes knowledge can be a burden. The amount of nuclear firepower in the world vastly out numbers (and that is putting it lightly) the amount it would take to destroy the earth, but I, for one am unafraid. There is a sense of overwhelming tranquility within me; I know that the earth, and this life, was not meant to end by means of any man. The end of all days will be formed and decided by the creator of the earth’s entirety, every living thing has a purpose on the earth and although we choose which steps we take along the road, we do not have a choice when it comes to decisions bigger than we are. Just as you do not have a choice between right and wrong, and just as we are not entitled to pick and choose the guidelines of religion that are convenient to our lifestyles, no man is gong to decide to end what was created by a hand mightier than all things.

Elegance

No matter how much a feminist any woman considers herself, there is really no argument that a woman's most important contribution to the world is her beauty. It can be argued until a person is blue in the face, ligitiment points can be made, and maybe the opposite opinion can even be compromised with words, but when it come down to walking down the street or looking at a model on a billboard, society proves that yes, it is true. So, is this fair? maybe not but it is true, and in today's world women I think often forget this. I love to watch old movies and look at pictures of my grandmother in her twenties, women back then knew that the biggest impression they could make was with the elegance of their dress, style, and ladylike character. Today, women, and I suppose men alike, choose comfort over distinction, this is a problem. The average "comfortable" person about town wearing exactly what they woke up in, is easily excepted in society today, but subconsciously reflecting the care and worth they have for themselves. Whether you believe me or not, if a person takes better care of themselves they feel better about themselves and life in general, taking more care with every decision and making more of an impression overall. You will be surprised at the changes that will innately happen when a person's self Worth rises. It is important to be classy, even if the world around you isn't, do it to make an impression, but above all, do it for you.

Live and Learn!

Whether it’s jumping out of an airplane, or throwing your hands up screaming down a rollercoaster, the adrenaline pumping down our vanes is our friend! Not so much for a person’s body, but for their mind. I feel like in this day and age people walk around being stressed out, living their lives in a mode, just to get from one day to the next, I am convinced this is not the way life way intended to go. LIFE IS MEANT TO BE LIVED! Go on vacations you can’t afford, try something new, and scary, out side of your comfort zone. So many times people start to do only what is asked or expected of them essentially letting their schedule, or people in their lives live through them. It is important to remember to be selfish sometimes, do things for yourself, because after all if you can’t love yourself you can’t love at all, and a life without love, is a life wasted.